Why?

Why is life so hectic,unexpected and chaotic?
Why can´t we explore the miniworld around us in the uttermost tranquility of a quiet evening?
Why do events, private and public, shake me so?
Why can´t I find answers as readily as I used to?

I know. I´ve been through death and loss. And the scars are still open. Until they heal I´ll need patience. I used to immerse myself in work and that helped, but no longer. Lack of stamina? Perhaps. Lack of confidence in the power of pushing myself out of misery? Perhaps. Lack of will power to face a change? I don´t know.